


Long Story Short, I Survived

by myracingthoughts



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28769742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myracingthoughts/pseuds/myracingthoughts
Summary: “C’mon, sweetheart,” James offered in a low voice, pulling her into his side. “Let’s get us some sleep, yeah?”He could feel the way her hands shook tucked against him, fingers burying themselves into his sweater as they wove through the facility and towards their apartment.The silence as they navigated the complex was deafening; it was like he could hear her bracing for impact.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Wanda Maximoff
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Long Story Short, I Survived

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earnmysong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earnmysong/gifts).



> Thank you to the always lovely @earnmysong for the following prompt from a certain Taylor Swift song.
> 
> _he feels like home / if the shoe fits walk in it everywhere you go_
> 
> Which somehow inspired this angsty hurt/comfort fic. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, please keep an eye out for [@earnmysong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earnmysong) and [@treaddelicately](https://archiveofourown.org/users/treaddelicately)’s winterwitch fics for our little exchange. I have no doubt they’re amazing.

James Buchanan Barnes was furious.

He had perfected that particular brand of silent fury that quickly tipped his teammates off, rushing away from the scene before he needed to say anything. Something about that locked jaw and cold eyes. That ‘standing just outside the door of Steve’s office’ kind of furious. 

All with a heaping side of frustrated sighs and wrung hands.

This whole thing was infuriating.

“What were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed, Wanda.”

Steve Rogers was pretty pissed, too, nearly red in the face as he chastised her during their one-on-one debrief post-mission. Even if James hadn’t had super soldier hearing, he wouldn’t have been able to ignore this particular dressing down, even from his spot down the hall. 

Steve wasn’t even trying to hold back, clearly exasperated. 

And James was in the same boat, still a little numb as he tried to process what she’d done— _almost_ done, he had to remind himself.

“It is _not_ up to one of us to sacrifice themselves for the team. We’re a family, Wanda, not a one-man operation, especially not when we have orders.”

It was a little rich coming from Steve ‘the martyr’ Rogers, James would admit. Gritting his teeth as he leaned his head back against the wall, James closed his eyes and tried to get his heart-rate back down to a normal level. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this raw fear, this terror.

Scared stiff that he was going to lose the one thing he’d never thought he’d have.

“But Sam was going to get hurt and—”

James knew from the indignant huff of air that Steve was having none of it.

“That’s the risk we all take, Wanda. Every single one of us, when we step out onto that field. Why on earth do you think you need to step in and save him? Especially when it meant you could have ended up—”

But even Steve couldn’t finish that sentence, dead air in the space where the word should have been. _Dead_. She could have been dead, and it wasn’t the first time Wanda had don’t something stupid like this out in the field.

And for the life of them, none of them could figure out just why.

“I’m sorry,” Wanda sobbed, just above a whisper, though James could hear the pain echoing in the words. “I’m sorry for not following the plan, Steve.”

James knew Steve well enough to know that he didn’t take crying very well; he could almost hear the resignation in his voice as he told her, “It’s alright. We just care about you, and we don’t want you to feel like you have to always take on everyone else’s pain.” 

The twist in his gut and the muffled sobs that came next told him the giant softie had pulled her into a hug and sighed that ‘disappointed in you’ sigh. 

“Here, let’s go find Buck.”

Straightening up, putting up some sort of show that he hadn’t been awkwardly listening in on their conversation, James flexed out his fingers, trying to loosen the fists his hands had become.

He waited for them outside the door, watching as Wanda tried to quickly wipe under her eyes. The small, shaky action seemed to melt every ounce of anger out of James’s body, and he quickly opened up his arms as she warily approached.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” James offered in a low voice, pulling her into his side. “Let’s get us some sleep, yeah?”

He could feel the way her hands shook tucked against him, fingers burying themselves into his sweater as they wove through the facility and towards their apartment. She was freezing, so James found himself absentmindedly rubbing his hands up and down her arms to warm her up as they walked, trying to stop the shivering.

The silence as they navigated the complex was deafening; it was like he could hear her bracing for impact.

As soon as they found themselves inside the door, James dropped his keys on the counter and turned to Wanda, brushing the hair out of her face to reveal the specks of dirt and grime. But not a scratch on her, though, he realized. His throat tightened as he realized it was because _he’d_ gotten there in time. 

So there was that, at least. 

But even as he tried to gently coax it out of her, Wanda wouldn’t meet his eyes, fingers still tangled in the loops of his utility belt as the crown of her head leaned forward to rest on his chest. He hated seeing her like this, dejected and afraid that he was going to come down on her just as hard as Steve had.

James knew better than to push, settling on giving her a little space to decompress. After all, Wanda didn’t need to feel like it was her against the team or ‘Steve and Bucky’ ganging up on her. If today was any indication, there was clearly something else bubbling beneath the surface. 

He was worried enough to push back his own feelings, his own need to unwind, to make sure he could be her one safe space.

Reaching down, she took her hands in his, pulling them up to his lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. Wanda’s eyes flicked up to his for just a moment, dropping down to the floor with a bite of her lips. 

“Bathroom’s all yours, Wan. Do you need any help?” James offered, watching as she shook her head no, stripping out of her shirt as she walked to the bathroom. 

And even though she’d turned down his offer, James found himself hovering just inside the door of their room, taking a spot on the floor of the doorway after stripping out of his uniform— just in case. 

But the only sound was the squeak of the lever and the water raining down the stall. 

And he couldn’t stop himself from pointing out just how strange it was, this whole thing. He was so used to her early morning serenades, singing along to whatever Top 40 song she’d had stuck in her head for the last week. His own personal little Wanda concerts, her accent slipping into the fray when her mind wandered.

If this was any other day, there’d be a kettle on the stove and her favourite tea waiting in her mug. Something cooking on the stove, or takeout waiting for them at the door.

But today wasn’t a typical mission or an average outcome.

“It’s all yours,” Wanda rasped from the bathroom, and James scrambled to his feet to meet her in the hall.

One cursory glance showed her eyes still red-ringed and a little hollow as she fiddled with the white towel wrapped around herself. But the shivering had stopped, at least.

Usually, James would take his time after a mission, scrub down the grime and wipe off all the thoughts and feelings of battle, but today was different. In two minutes flat, he was towelling off and heading back to their room, stuttering a little as he found her still wrapped in the towel and sitting frozen on top of the duvet.

“Wan?” he breathed, watching as her face snapped up to meet his gaze.

He could see the tear tracks on her cheeks, hear the hitch in her breath as Wanda realized she’d spaced out. She offered the quietest whisper, “Sorry.”

“No, no,” James assured, sitting down beside her and scooping her into his lap. “You got nothin’ to be sorry about, sweetheart. I’m just worried about you is all— hell, the _team’s_ just worried about you— wondering why you’d go and do a thing like that—”

Wanda seemed to stiffen in his hold, shaking her head, “I _had_ to. I couldn’t be the reason someone got hurt. I can’t fail you again.”

“Sweetheart…” James rumbled, knowing she didn’t mean _him_ when she said ‘you.’

Her head found the crook of his neck, breathing ragged under his wandering palms, trailing up and down her back comfortingly. Touch, he remembered from his own therapy sessions. Touch had healing properties that went beyond scientific studies. Him just being here, holding her, was helping.

And he’d do well to remind himself of that, leaving space for her to continue.

“I feel like I owe you. Like I shouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for… I wouldn’t _be_ here if it wasn’t for the team. I’m so used to using my powers to fight for people, to protect, to be the strong one, and…” Wanda trailed off, voice crackling.

Even in the dim light, he could see the glitter in her eyes, watched as she avoided his, hands balled into little fists in her lap. The tremors were back again, working their way through her system as water droplets dripped from the tips of her hair down onto the bed. Wanda took a deep, shuddering breath and continued, sniffing back the tears.

“I’m sorry, but you’re my family— this team is my family— and I would do anything to protect you. Especially after all the pain I caused with Ultron and—”

“Hey, hey,” James soothed, pulling her closer and pressing a kiss to the top of her head and caging her against him with his arms. 

Frowning slightly at the hurt in her tone, those tears that pooled in her eyes, James wished he could do more than just hold her. He wished he could wrap her up and protect her from the rest of the world. 

Wanda was looking after her _family_ , the only thing she had left with the only means she knew how, and he of all people couldn’t fault her for that.

“I don’t know everything you went through _before_ and I am not the one to judge someone for how they deal with pain and loss. But I’m not going anywhere, Wan,” James assured in the strongest voice he could muster. “The team’s not going anywhere. You couldn’t push me away if you tried.”

He let the ghost of a smile linger on his lips, pressing into her hair as her breathing began to still.

“We love you, and we don’t want to see you hurt yourself on our account.”

Reaching down to unfurl her hands, James ghosted his thumbs over the indents on her fingers, left by the collection of mismatched rings she stacked on them. Wanda’s eyes finally snapped to his at the small action, that tiny bit of fire swirling amidst the hazel.

Her voice was barely above a breath, “I love you too.”

Framing her face with his palms, James dipped down and kissed her. Not like all those other times in the dark, underlined by desperation and want. No, this kiss was need and devotion, praise and awe. James _needed_ to tell her just how much she meant, how much he needed her.

How scared he was for her at that moment as she dove to protect Sam in the middle of a firefight.

And even though he hadn’t said it himself explicitly, not in the context he had maybe meant to, James couldn’t help but feel warm at her words. He watched one last tear slip down her cheek as she stared at him.

Pulling her back against his chest, slotted just under his chin, she fit like the perfect little puzzle piece. With a shaky breath, he whispered softly into her hair, “I love you so much, little witch. Please don’t try to leave me again.”

“I won’t,” she replied with an ardent shake of her head.

James sat with her like that for a long while, holding her against him like he was afraid she’d disappear from his grasp at any moment. Like this one, quiet moment might be the only one he’d get. Like he cherished it and _her_ above all else in the dark of their room.

It was nearly an hour later when they slid under the sheets, James spooning her with one strong arm hooked around her middle and a litany of soft trailing kisses along her neck. Wanda was long asleep, softly snoring as James breathed her in, letting his own shuddering breath he’d been keeping in that night.

“I can be the strong one, now, sweetheart. You just have to let me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. All comments, kudos and bookmarks are loved and cherished.
> 
> This fic was a prompt. You can find my [prompts list and details here](https://pasmonblog.tumblr.com/post/635410523601649664) if you're interested in adding to my WIP list (please do).


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